Transference

Having had quite a shock- see post below, I think it is important not to dwell on such a person who would cause such a nightmare. Hence, I have been spending some time with someone else.

So soon? You may well ask. It is a simple concept of transferring ones feelings to someone else in order not to have any bad/mad/sad feelings for the other person. Anyway, while I was with THE EX I met Mark* and we became unlikely friends due to the fact I had a boyfriend. Now I don't have said boyfriend.

The list below in reality should be the norm, but I was not treated as such by THE EX. But, Mark has manners. In fact, with Mark it is easy.

* He texts me just to say good morning and hopes that I have a nice day.

* After we met he wished me good luck for an exam, even though it was a drunken night where we never may have seen each other again.

* He will change plans just to spend time with me.

* He lives out of town but will not hesitate to drive in, even when he has to wake up at 5.30am and he knows he will get home late.

* He drives a car which almost could be considered 'bogan' with all its bells and whistles, but will let me drive it too.

* He doesn't take me too seriously and can joke around without getting angry.

* He actually wants to take me out for dinner somewhere nice and will enjoy it too.


I spent last night with Mark. We drove out of town and ended up on a jetty jutting out into the sea, looking at the stars. It felt like we were somewhere else, and it was just what I wanted. I have realised now that life is too short to put up with bad behaviour and 'rocky' patches. If it's not working, it's not working. Not every combination of people will go the distance, and there is no point in flogging a dead horse, which it how my own relationship began to appear. When it is surprising that things are going well, as opposed to a normality, it is pretty damn clear you should get out, and get out fast. It may sound like things will not end well for Mark, but to tell you the truth I have fun with Mark and fun is just what I need right now. Mark is someone who I will stay friends with after we stop hanging out in the context of something more, which is how it should be.

I could become cynical about the male species, or enjoy the company of one more deserving. You do the math.

S

The Dawn of a New Age

So the impossible has occurred: I am no longer 'sad in the city'.

Yes, that's right, somehow despite many, many mistakes I have stumbled my way into a relationship. *Shudder* The word itself is foreign to me. The problem lies with the fact I have been single for approximately 2 years. Hence, singledom is not so much a way of life as an entire lifestyle choice.
It was an excuse to do silly things, be selfish, do what ever I liked- when I liked, have the entire bed to myself unless I decided I wanted company...basically the focus was on ME ME ME.

Now there is someone else.

It is like being an only child then discovering your parents have had another child. Suddenly friends ask how HE is, what dates HE has taken me on lately, and I have to take what HE wants into consideration.

Of course this is purely coming from the old single me...there are many more positive aspects of being in, well you know what, I don't need to state 'that' word again. I mean somehow HE has gone further than all the rest and proven himself to be worthy. In this worthiness, there is an endearing quality of wanting to impress me...I thought that was supposed to stop once you got locked into something. Not in his case. It makes me not mind so much about having to give up my selfish pastimes of drinking and behaving like a shameless hussy (not a bad thing to give up in retrospect), of watching sad movies alone at night with only a large sack of lollies and/or chocolate as my companion, and of being cynical towards the entire male species. HE has seemingly achieved the unthinkable.

Haha, the worst part is that I am only semi-joking here. I have an entrenched mindset which has become a large part of me over the last 2 years.

It will mean no more horror stories about the crazies I attract, no more laughing with friends over terrible letters and cards which I once accumulated without trying, no more angst whether I like a new potential or not, no more excitement in the early stages of a new romance replayed over and over as they keep coming.

I will be one of those smug, happy people who just shake their heads at the loose actions of their single sect of friends- secretly a little jealous they have nothing to contribute to the gossip session.

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo....

Am I ready for this new age? Am I merely being over-dramatic as a result of trying to deal with a long-forgotten aspect of myself? Or should I run, run fast and far away from the RELATIONSHIP before it is too late?

Love S