The Dawn of a New Age

So the impossible has occurred: I am no longer 'sad in the city'.

Yes, that's right, somehow despite many, many mistakes I have stumbled my way into a relationship. *Shudder* The word itself is foreign to me. The problem lies with the fact I have been single for approximately 2 years. Hence, singledom is not so much a way of life as an entire lifestyle choice.
It was an excuse to do silly things, be selfish, do what ever I liked- when I liked, have the entire bed to myself unless I decided I wanted company...basically the focus was on ME ME ME.

Now there is someone else.

It is like being an only child then discovering your parents have had another child. Suddenly friends ask how HE is, what dates HE has taken me on lately, and I have to take what HE wants into consideration.

Of course this is purely coming from the old single me...there are many more positive aspects of being in, well you know what, I don't need to state 'that' word again. I mean somehow HE has gone further than all the rest and proven himself to be worthy. In this worthiness, there is an endearing quality of wanting to impress me...I thought that was supposed to stop once you got locked into something. Not in his case. It makes me not mind so much about having to give up my selfish pastimes of drinking and behaving like a shameless hussy (not a bad thing to give up in retrospect), of watching sad movies alone at night with only a large sack of lollies and/or chocolate as my companion, and of being cynical towards the entire male species. HE has seemingly achieved the unthinkable.

Haha, the worst part is that I am only semi-joking here. I have an entrenched mindset which has become a large part of me over the last 2 years.

It will mean no more horror stories about the crazies I attract, no more laughing with friends over terrible letters and cards which I once accumulated without trying, no more angst whether I like a new potential or not, no more excitement in the early stages of a new romance replayed over and over as they keep coming.

I will be one of those smug, happy people who just shake their heads at the loose actions of their single sect of friends- secretly a little jealous they have nothing to contribute to the gossip session.

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo....

Am I ready for this new age? Am I merely being over-dramatic as a result of trying to deal with a long-forgotten aspect of myself? Or should I run, run fast and far away from the RELATIONSHIP before it is too late?

Love S