The 'Right Now' Boyfriend

This is a relatively old term which has recently been revived.... It has come out of several of my friends mouths about their current 'squeezes', and it makes me think: How do you know when you have a 'right now' boyfriend or one which will go the distance?

So naturally I Googled. I found "10 Signs He is A Long Term Boyfriend":

1. HE REMEMBERS THE LITTLE THINGS
2. HE TELLS YOU WHY HE CAN'T ACCEPT CHEATING
3. HE'S A FAMILY MAN
4. HE MAKES YOU LAUGH
5. HE DROPS EVERYTHING WHEN YOU NEED HIM
6. HE CAN MAKE YOU ORGASM (IN MULTIPLES)
7. HE'S A STRONG PROTECTIVE MAN
8. HE'S HONEST EVEN WHEN IT HURTS
9. HE PREFERS TO HANG OUT WITH YOU
10.HE'S ALWAYS ON YOUR SIDE

Really? This is a list from someone who has thought about what their dream man would be like. I think we are all guilty of this. However, this particular long timer sounds like a bit of a sissy to me. If that is the alternative- I will stick with my right-now man thank you.

With that, I suppose the right now man is fun, but a little irresponsible and probably has annoying habits which mean that you cannot see beyond the short term.
Essentially, he will fill the gap left by a former boyfriend....he will provide light relief from a bad day, and he most obviously takes away the stigma of being the dreaded SINGLE. I have found that although I became rather fond of being on my lonesome so to speak, that is rare. I also must admit that that question, you know the one; "So how's your love life?", makes me fume- especially when the person asking knows damn well there is ziltch happening!

So what then is bad about having a right now boyfriend? Perhaps it is merely the mindset which causes you to shut yourself off from the possibility he could be more, or more likely it means that you are shutting yourself off from meeting someone better.

There. I said it. It all comes back to SETTLING. Are we settling by getting into a relationship with someone who is less than husband material?

I am guilty of the above. It has probably crossed my mind that I am currently enjoying one of the right now men... as such I have not even curbed my awful behaviour...instead I am slowly training him into accepting me as I am and it is going swimmingly.

EXAMPLE: Being picked up on a Saturday night and then requiring him to pull over as I wrench the door open and throw up out onto the road. The incident was glossed over like it was the norm. Hmmm. He just laughed and said he wasn't sure if he should have held my hair or what. I did not feel inclined to tell him that I was a seasoned pro in that area and I had it well covered.

I also do ponder whether the man in question is required to know the longevity of the relationship. As I can slowly see my own lad gathering speed in the attachment area, I wonder if I should wait or lay it down that I do not plan on a future beyond some fun for the short term!


Love S (who is currently picking up the slack from B)

The Dawn of a New Age

So the impossible has occurred: I am no longer 'sad in the city'.

Yes, that's right, somehow despite many, many mistakes I have stumbled my way into a relationship. *Shudder* The word itself is foreign to me. The problem lies with the fact I have been single for approximately 2 years. Hence, singledom is not so much a way of life as an entire lifestyle choice.
It was an excuse to do silly things, be selfish, do what ever I liked- when I liked, have the entire bed to myself unless I decided I wanted company...basically the focus was on ME ME ME.

Now there is someone else.

It is like being an only child then discovering your parents have had another child. Suddenly friends ask how HE is, what dates HE has taken me on lately, and I have to take what HE wants into consideration.

Of course this is purely coming from the old single me...there are many more positive aspects of being in, well you know what, I don't need to state 'that' word again. I mean somehow HE has gone further than all the rest and proven himself to be worthy. In this worthiness, there is an endearing quality of wanting to impress me...I thought that was supposed to stop once you got locked into something. Not in his case. It makes me not mind so much about having to give up my selfish pastimes of drinking and behaving like a shameless hussy (not a bad thing to give up in retrospect), of watching sad movies alone at night with only a large sack of lollies and/or chocolate as my companion, and of being cynical towards the entire male species. HE has seemingly achieved the unthinkable.

Haha, the worst part is that I am only semi-joking here. I have an entrenched mindset which has become a large part of me over the last 2 years.

It will mean no more horror stories about the crazies I attract, no more laughing with friends over terrible letters and cards which I once accumulated without trying, no more angst whether I like a new potential or not, no more excitement in the early stages of a new romance replayed over and over as they keep coming.

I will be one of those smug, happy people who just shake their heads at the loose actions of their single sect of friends- secretly a little jealous they have nothing to contribute to the gossip session.

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo....

Am I ready for this new age? Am I merely being over-dramatic as a result of trying to deal with a long-forgotten aspect of myself? Or should I run, run fast and far away from the RELATIONSHIP before it is too late?

Love S